How is it that we do not 'see' the caring...Why is it that an observation, a musing or a question can be mistaken for a criticism. It is not intended to be viewed that way. As I visited relatives recently, I noticed that the advice and concern that is voiced is often taken as an indictment of behavior. I see how it can be misconstued and how the message receiver can be confused and hurt. What a shame...the intention is to show compassion and caring and it somehow gets turned into hurt feelings. So, what is the process that 'softens' the delivery of the message? Perhaps there is no method that would allow the message to be delivered without someone taking offense. How hard it is to share knowledge in a way that is acceptable to the listener. It seems as though the farther apart the relationship, the easier it is. Conversely, the closer the relationship, spouse, child, parent, the more likely the receiver 'interprets' the message ascribing ulterior motives to the message sender. Sometimes the message sender is just trying to relate their concern.
So, perhaps the solution is to take a deep breath and just listen to what is being said. Don't read too much into the 'behind the scenes' motives because perhaps there are none.
